From the moronic mind of BATFAN comes the motion picture event of the afternoon: IRON CAN, the incredible true story of the founding member of the legendary Appliance Alliance™.

Ultra Downy Jr. (now with floral scent!) stars as Tony Starch: Genius. Billionaire. Philanthropist. Can of fabric softener.

After being pressured into revealing his secret identity, Starch attracts the attention of the nefarious Fabrice Crimp, leader of a cult of creased cottons who believes that since the world isn’t flat, nothing should be.

Only Iron Can has the power-setting to flatten Fabrice and put an end to his ruffled reign of terror.

No one straight is safe. Everyone bent is probably ok for a change. The fate of looking presentable in a button-up rests on the nozzle of one can.

But even the greatest of heroes eventually run out of steam…